The fight of this world... philosophical thoughts

As much as I know there are blessings all around us & our family is taking action to provide for, heal, and truly celebrate our tribe of 4 young extra-ordinary kids-- IT (the reality of the life we fight for daily) still stinks at times. I feel it's important to vocalize this, because more & more I am aware our fast paced American culture trains us to push away and suppress the feelings and thoughts which are negative or unpleasant. A perfect analogy of this is the overall health epidemic spreading like wildfire throughout our nations' children (encompassing asthma, juvenile diabetes, allergies, cancer, mental illness/mood disorders, neurological injury spanning everything from ALS to Epilepsy to Autism). I have blogged a lot on the topic within the previous sentence, yet my purpose today is to go beyond this, as I believe the individual epidemics alone do not account for the burden, despair & fears real people feel today.

It has been a very emotional struggle personally these past 3 months, and not really due to any one issue. If I were to focus down and look in summation of challenges that have contributed to this struggle for me, I'd say-- lack of connection, feeling of isolation, and feeling no one can possibly understand what it is to live this life, my life, our life day in and day out. The exhaustion, the worry, the constant triage of 4 very complicated little humans, plus mine and my husband's health challenges, not even getting to our needs. The feeling of time passing by & just making it. The daily effort it requires to "sustain" any form of acceptable quality of life, all while managing the constant tide of NEEDS of the children, the home, the family, the bank, the world we exist in.

Take out the fact that our family has 4 children with extreme medical, daily care, and overall supportive needs-- I think ANYONE can relate to feelings of "disconnection, isolation, and being alone". It happens to everyone at some point/time in their journey, regardless of the challenges of their earthly circumstances. I am reminded of this Life fact, by knowing, feeling & experiencing not only our own hardships-- but seeing it in so many people outside of my home. This reflection makes me think, wonder & ponder our human nature, and perhaps our selfish limitations of being mortal. If we acted in the love of our Father, and built the communities upon His Love as He desires would we be so lost?? My thought-- NO. We are all subjects within a broken world and yet we have the power to overcome, connect & support each-other in our journey HERE. Frankly, I think it's evident that our own human race survival depends on this very Intended communal design.

I think about the Moms & Dads that have shared the road in pursuing healing for their injured children (like E. & I); & how that sliver of mankind is a community which has truly supported one another, as I believe God knows we can do... only we can do so on a much grander scale. Regardless of our challenges, beliefs, and subsequent judgements... we are all in this world together. Don't we want to make it better, sustainable, a global village of honor and human integrity? Even though there are times, I'm truly at my bottom - I still believe that if we each think of this Life from our Creator's viewpoint (or whatever higher power you believe in) we would see the hope that will be actualized by real communities of people taking action to make a difference, not just for today, but for always. We humans (in search of control?), create divisions amongst ourselves and allow empowered hierarchies to further segregate us, rule (just & unjustly), and take our collective human brother/sisterhood of power. However; we often overlook that we together truly posses the power, innate love and the divine nature to overcome these obstacles in union, community for all brothers and sisters... if we only see the bigger picture. God's picture.

This alone gives me hope & helps me make sense of the challenges we all face. Doesn't mean it's all glorious, and makes me realize the *feelings* we have been gifted with can be catalysts for positive change, if only we recognize & process them, rather than pushing them away. Our feelings and senses are the intuitive means for perseverance, building a better tomorrow.

Don't give up; the devil is hoping we will. However, our: children, neighbors, family & friends are all counting on that we won't. Ever. GIVE-UP.

Happy Easter. The wishes of happiness and health, through rebirth to all-- starting with each self.

Momma T.


  1. Tanya, my dear and close friend, I want to help you so badly. What can I do? Please tell me how I can help you. I know we live so far apart, which I just hate, but I want to do what I can. I promise to be better at reaching out more and not worry about interrupting anything. Please let me know what else I can do...

    1. Hey Dear Friend. You can do what you are already doing! Share our story, the blog posts, etc so that the education of our journey can prevent another child, parent & family from enduring the same. By sharing you will likely reach someone God has intended, who needs some message from this all; whether it is: hope, an answer, a reality check (it could be anything!)He KNOWs, we are the conduit. YOUR PRAYERS that you give & your thoughts & your unconditional friendship is such a gift to me.

      I have lost touch with many over the years of this journey (not by my choice, but it happens- even those whom are closest) & it means the world to always pickup where we (you/I) left off & know your spirit, prayers & thoughts are always with ALL of us. Love ya my thithter. I can't wait to see your face again soon & get you reacquainted with these babies whom have grown.

  2. T- I found such comfort in reading this post with the light that you shed on just how hard each day is for every person and any situation. I am so blessed to have you,E, and the kids in my life and LJ's! You are a huge inspiration to me to fight each day and each stuggle knowing that not only do I have God behind me but also an amazing family!

    1. So glad, Bri. God's plan is mysterious, yet magnificent. Everything HERE is paving the way to the real deal. I'm so thankful to have you & LJ in our lives, too. Witnessing your journey is almost like seeing my very young sister unfold, accomplish & realize all you are meant to. We are proud of you, Bri & grateful for your love & commitment. Here's a testimony to that-- Sbear this morning, "Mom, is Bri coming home soon?" LOVE it!