So it's nearly 4AM and I have been awake since 2AM, when Bella first came downstairs. She has this darned Influenza virus that has blazed a trail through the family, so I am sure she awoke from the head congestion or body aches. My entire back and neck feel like I have fallen from a third story onto the ground below. Anyhow, I am awake, which is a normal for me in this house... But even worse miserably so (yes, I am whining).
It has been a brutal week and a half of illness. Roo and Sbear first spiked temps last Monday and Sbear is still not well. He rarely runs fevers and especially not to the tune of 104. Makes me nervous even though I know his body is doing its job to fight off the viral invader. Takes me back to a not so distant memory segment when he first became so sick following 7 vaccinations he was given at 12 months of age. For 2 weeks he had intense fevers with no explanation. We had multiple ER trips with no source or explanation for his smoking high fevers, so the ER doc sent us home with an antibiotic. This makes my gut ill now as I recall the details. No medical professional ever asked if he had recently been vaccinated. Unfortunately I was clueless and the damage had been done. Roo's descent was more subtle into the autism abyss.
I spent some reading this weekend "Thinking in pictures" by Dr. Temple Grandin, an individual with high functioning autism. It has been extremely informative to see inside her world and hear her words, explanations, and research on how an autistic mind works. It also has been a bit emotional as a Momma to read about the unpleasant feelings, emotions, and even overall brain damage and have it apply to all four of your children. It is a stop and pause on how truly atypical our family is, for me. I am submerged into our reality so deep that I don't often see it from the outside in. Seeing my husband sick himself and me feeling strained makes me wonder how I don't feel hopeless the majority of the time. I guess it is a mystery blessing that I needn't understand. I just pray for healing and health for all 6 of us.