A day after ER update & reflection

So yesterday's fiasco of ER visit & my own emotional meltdown did not go without higher learning. I got her home in one piece without a tear, helped her to bed & tried to comfort her without success, she was enveloped in a drugged state that was taking her sensory dysfunction to a whole different level. By God's grace, she literally fell asleep in the time it took me to go up a flight of stairs, get her the pain reliever I was worried about dripping into her. Afterward, I found myself counting her respirations, listening to her restricted airway & praying for strength until the tears came. I left her room & exhaled a tide of tears & realized I had been trying to do it all on my own. E. was home wrecked with the stomach flu & Auntie Paris was kind enough to see all the others to bed that evening, so I assumed I was in charge (yet I wasn't alone). I was so distraught over Bella's stress & my perspective of her suffering, it found me under a blanket of emotion desiring only to alleviate her pain.

The irony is that by trying to do own my own & logic through the crisis, as the skilled nurse, I lost sight that I'm never alone, nor is she. I've become to accustomed to being the protector, advocate & Momma Bear (for Bella, her 3 siblings, their father & many that enter my life) that I often don't remember to "let go & Let God" in the crisis. My logic & performance under pressure is a gift, yet sometimes at a higher cost to my endurance. I'm learning & humbled.

Bella awoke very late today, after my multiple checks, yet when she did climb the stairs to the family room her sleepy face imparted a soft smile & her brilliant blue eyes blinked through the wisps of sleepy hair covering her sweet face. She had climbed the entire 14 stairs upright, albeit her right leg still dislocated. I knelt down to tell her good morning & she reached for me & snuggled into the best Bella hug a Momma could get. As I hugged her & rubbed her back, there were two loud popping sounds & when I looked-- to my surprise her hip had reset itself as we embraced. Her leg remained intact the entire day. Praise God, I hear You Lord.


  1. This is wonderful. Amazing insight, I do the same thing, trying to do it on my own. It always goes so much smoother when I let go and let God too. Sometimes it takes moments like these to realize it though. Your writing was beautiful in this post:)

  2. Momma T,
    I'm so glad that the leg reset itself. Most of the time, miracles happen without hospitals and modern medicine. You have the best heart to heal with. Big hugs to you all.