An inconvenient painful TRUTH

Am charting, in DETAIL, Roo's medical history to prepare for upcoming Immunology & Pulmonology specialists. I. AM. SICK.

By her 6 mo. vaccinations the data stored only in the Pediatrician's records clearly shows, we killed her immune system (& no, that is not drama, but TRUTH). After that visit, she was in PED office for 3 sick visits in 1.5 mos following those vax. THEN SHE WAS VAX'ED AGAIN!! @ 9 mos. 3 more sick visits with unexplained whole body rashes, cold symps, fevers & EXTREME FUSSINESS (I'll never forget her screaming). Only to be VAX'ed the FINAL BLOW (7 vaccines). 5 more sick visits over 2 mos following the pluthera of VAX on her distressed body. Last of 5 sick visit she was positive for STREP. She didn't have any defense system any longer-- for infections, viruses, or environmental toxins of our world (including vaccines). At this point, I left the majority of mainstream medicine to try to help my babies. They started to improve through alternative approaches, yet so much damage had already been done & we're still in the marathon of supporting their injuries.

The most disturbing thing to me about Roo... if her twin hadn't regressed so fast & lost his language, etc. we would have kept on vaccinating her. She could have died-- his regression saved her life. I was uneducated, overwhelmed & couldn't see the bigger picture. I was there (PED office) each time expressing concerns that were downplayed & the PED DIDN'T SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE EITHER. Their office told me to bring her in for 15 mo. visit (which I delayed 3 mos.) & that they could still vaccinate even though she & her twin had a FEVER! This message followed the 5 sick visits & STREP. 

Thank GOD I didn't vaccinate them again.

Post STREP. Her illness list is so very long that I'm too tired to summarize it here. Her immune system was completely overloaded & short circuited. She cycled through regressions more subtle than her twin, yet succumbed fully into an Autism presentation at 3.5 years old (able to be diagnosed by medical criteria). If you meet a child with Autism, it is very very likely this child is SICK & their sickness is not from AUTISM, rather their AUTISM is a result of their SICKNESS.

I AM SHARING SO YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE DOESN'T GO BLINDLY WITH THEIR CHILD INTO THIS ABYSS. We've lost a lot-- my children have SUFFERED GREATLY, our family still suffers and fights to maintain. If you think I'm dramatic, please discontinue reading. I simply cannot go on pretending this atrocity didn't happen & ISN'T still happening to our kids. AFRAID? That's good-- you are on your way to THINKING your way into protecting your child(ren).

Cliff notes: Do not vaccinate your child when they are sick, EVER. A symptom of a rash, swollen injection site, fever, diarrhea, or subsequent infection (even a month after vaccines) is a note-able reaction & needs to be reported to pediatrician. Some pediatricians aren't really open to reporting what they may see as a subtle reaction-- insist on this being noted in your child's file anyway. PROCEED with caution when your child shows a reaction; listen to your gut instincts & stand strong with your instincts. Tell your pediatrician you want to work together to lessen chances that reactions re-occur (by spacing out vax, doing singularly, et all). Your child should not get the disease they are being vaccinated against! If they do-- RED FLAG their immune system cannot process. Did you know Hep vax is for sexually transmitted disease & this is recommended at birth (seriously?)-- do you think your baby needs this? IMPORTANT-- NEVER GIVE YOUR CHILD TYLENOL BEFORE/AFTER VACCINATING as it suppresses body's Glutathione production (the body's chemical produced to get rid of toxic substances), instead give Vitamin C & a probiotic when you choose to vaccinate. Lastly, READ on this topic FURTHER so you can become educated on risks vs. benefit & make INFORMED choices. These are my opinions from lessons learned in great hardship, suffering & loss. I am not a medical doctor with credentials-- so take my notes within as my opinions and encouragement to research these things further on your own. YOU alone protect your child & you (like me) live with the decisions you make for your child. I wish I had had any of this information when my kids were infants. GODSPEED.

http://www.tacanow.org/family-resources/vaccination-choices-for-families-with-autism/
http://www.tacanow.org/family-resources/living-in-a-toxic-world/
http://www.tacanow.org/family-resources/flu-prevention/

Progress - Looking back & then to today *A Place of Miracles*

Today I'm taking the time to pause & step outside of the *circle* of our family's life. I find myself drawn to take the vantage point of spectator, in order to remove myself from the emotions of this journey. This is quest of comprehension, rather than needing to shut off from reality. A conscious effort to take in, recall events, and celebrate today.

My children are changing; YES, as kids do, but moreover ours are evolving profoundly; I feel a need to pause and purposely observe. The constant daily circuit of care-giving & family routines often preoccupies my mind; I often am not focused on how magnificent this journey has been & IS. I don't want to succumb to the complacency of *taking for granted*-- where we are today and the miracles beneath this roof. 

From experience, we've lived this life understanding it is delicate, with full realization that nothing is certain or untouchable. Our world can and has been turned over in fractions of a second. Daily I'm in awe so often of my children and each millimeter of their movement, that when I step back to see the whole horizon, honestly it's none other than astounding. My mind finally sees the giant work God has carved out with details & purpose I never recognized in the moment. Maybe I saw a shadow of the beautiful mountain, yet He had created an entire breath-taking universe in comparison. Through everything... absolute exhaustion, unparalleled stress, calamitous illness/regression, & my absolute uncertainty of tomorrow-- He has had our plan & continues to carry us.

We've bottomed out more times than I can recall or even truly want to, yet somehow, with the help of someone(s) our family propels forward. The children are champions, even on their worst days-- my neuro-typical mortal frame pales in comparison to the will, light, & energy of their tenacious spirits. These unique people don't know how to be disappointed, lose, complain or give up-- they've never had the choice. The world as we know it does not vibrate harmoniously for their inner workings & yet the rest of the unscathed population can learn so much from even one day in their life with their challenges and triumphs. I fully believe, as parents of Autistic children, we are raising AN EPIDEMIC OF TEACHERS... beyond our complete comprehension.

Today I focused in terms of only one year ago & what this time has brought to each of my babies. I'm left with a sense of gratitude so enormous, I'm singing praises. Thank you, Lord!

A YEAR AGO...

- Bella had unexplained acute onset of bilateral hip dysplasia. She had no social interest beyond getting her most basic of needs met. She preferred to be completely exclusive, not even in the same room with any of us & chose to partake in repetitive isms like a broken record. OCD-like tendencies ruled her world. Today she is cast-free, brace-free & doing gymnastic feats with vigor. She is making eye contact, pointing to request, addressing whom she is speaking to, answering to her name, excited to see friends, engage-able, less obsessive & desires independence in being the big girl she is.

- Roo was cycling through immune crashes/viral wipe-outs/infection every 2 months, she wasn't growing or putting on weight. Her lungs were severely vulnerable, her eyes sunken with dark rings, & her body wasted compared with today. She battled rigid fears, specific phobias, and consistent separation anxiety. Now though still immune compromised, she has energy each day in bursts & large growth of physical coordination (still alternated with fatigue, but huge gains), she has outgrown her brother in height, her appetite is improving, she is aware of social nuances, working constantly to learn flexibility in this unpredictable world, she's growing significantly in confidence & even competitive, she's really starting to blossom with independence & expressing empathy actively.

- S-bear was speaking nearly entirely in scripts & playing exclusively to himself. He could not make direct eye contact with out covering his eyes afterwards, was up 2-3 times per night, & was oblivious to our social world. His auditory processing was firing on about 10-25% of our spoken language. His exclusive play was rigidly repetitive & his isms were compulsive & occupied his entire day. Today he is expressing his thoughts & feelings in real, as well as abstract details, he is seeking to engage others across environments, processing spoken language/following directions, & verbalizing thoughts nearly equal to his twin sister (just not quite so bossily). He seeks friends, talks of other people & allows us into his world of imaginary play. He is concerned about others, how they are feeling & protective of them. He prompts me with the coping scripts I once fed to him line by line.

- SJ was outwardly displaying seizures, stunted growth, repeated systemic infections, extreme withdrawal to the extent of long periods mutism daily, constant cyclic regression, and her speech was in one or two words for basic needs. She never called to me as Mommy, sought help, & her eye contact was only in accidental fleeting glances. She was content most often, but in a completely separate world from ours. She occupied herself in infinite repetition of isms. Today, she looks at us, protests & calls out to Mommy, dances & performs dipped in her own propetual sunshine vibrantly. She loves school, verbally comments on her surroundings & the people in them. She is excited by PEOPLE, acknowledges them (even those she doesn't see often) & is truly fond of her siblings. She has an opinion larger than her little body & is growing! Her speech has expanded & she has an amazing sense of humor. A true character, she is.

We have a long path ahead, yet in this moment I acknowledge God's grace & light upon these children, His hand in the angels He sends to us, & the perfection of His design in these unique little beings. The road has not been straight, nor do I expect it ever will, yet in 3 words for today: Progress, Love, Celebration. This home IS *A Place for Miracles*.

In celebration of the true essence or our: Bella, Roo, Sbear & SJ. 

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson